Reactions from friends…And why I am no longer telling people I know I am having WLS

Telling people you are having WLS, in my opinion, is a personal matter.  I have told some, and now I wish I had not.  These are reactions of some  people I have told.

Mom: She is obese and diabetic: She is worried about complications, but seems generally supportive. But she would not dissuade me even if she thought it was a terrible idea. That’s just how my mom is.

Best-Friend # 1: She is morbidly obese and diabetic had mentioned getting banded a couple years ago. She scoffed at the idea when I told her about RNY. Told me her doctor is against WLS, and abruptly changed the subject.  A few months later we were talking about it again, she brought it up not me (I learned my lesson!) and she asked if I was worried I would have loose skin and look old. I said no, I look far younger than I am and am not worried. She hasn’t brought it up since.

Best-friend #2. Had RNY 3 years ago. Has lost over 100 lbs but is still obese. But she started off at a very high weight.  She is super supportive. Came with me to my first informational meeting and answers all my questions! She is totally behind me 100 %

Aunt: Overweight perhaps bordering on obese. I did not tell my aunt, but she saw a post my friend wrote on my FB before I told my friend I wasn’t going to tell everyone I know about my decision to pursue surgery (she did, but that was her decision) So, before I deleted it, my aunt figured out I was looking at getting the surgery. Since then she has told me three horror stories of WLS, gives me incorrect stats and info, and just yesterday told me of a friend of a friend who nearly died from the band.  Mind you my aunt exaggerates and after several questions I surmised she was making half the S%#t up.

Boyfriend: A little overweight, excited, and supportive!

So, My boyfriend thinks friend #1 and Auntie are both jealous. Is it that simple? Are they afraid of what will happen to me, like I will die or have complications.  Well lets dissect. Friend #1 never mentioned complications, just cosmetic issues. So, maybe, just maybe jealously plays a factor. We were skinny together and then got fat together. So maybe that has some truth to it. But, why be jealous. When my friend#2 had her WLS I wasn’t jealous, I was happy for her!

My aunt keeps mentioning complications, but is a very vain woman. I can totally see her trying to put fear into me to stop me from having it.  But in reality who knows what peoples motives are.

So for now, I am not telling anyone else. I cannot surround myself with negativity or keep defending my decision especially to people who are uninformed or worse Misinformed. I have researched for months and really do not need to be lectured to.

Sorry for that mini-rant. It has been burning me up all night and day what my aunt was saying. And it was Mother’s day too! I just wanted to hang out with the moms in my family with my little girl and enjoy the day but instead I get lectured to.

OK, now that I got that off my chest, I feel better!

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2 thoughts on “Reactions from friends…And why I am no longer telling people I know I am having WLS

  1. I had similar experiences with telling people. And they changed their mind a lot. At first mention of surgery, a few of my friends seemed interested and some said they wish they could get it too (but they were just under the BMI limit). Then they were against it and made me feel bad for wanting it by questioning my decision over and over and telling me of bad experiences of people they “know”. My mother was worried to death that I would regret it. My sisters were the only 2 people who were with me 100% from the very start. They were extremely happy for me.

    Now I am 2 months post op and a lot of those friends and family members who were acting weird before surgery have accepted my decision and are seeing how much happier I am in my own skin now (50lbs lighter). Sometimes it just takes a little disagreeing and time before they can see you are completely happy with your decision and then they can be happy for you too. There is one person though that still keeps saying things like “I could never eat like that”, “I am trying the ‘hard’ way.”, or this or that. I think she may be jealous a little because she is much more overweight than I was and has many of the same medical problems I had. I just ignore the negativity because no matter what other people say, this is your decision to make and you will be the one to reap the benefits of the healthier lifestyle. Be proud of your decision and don’t let others take that away from you. 🙂

  2. Thank you! I am proud of myself for taking a HUGE step towards healthy living! I actually told another friend since this post and she was super supportive! And awesome for you and your 50 lb loss!!! 🙂

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