Spa Day

A few months ago I won a certificate for a local spa worth 100 dollars. It was a fancy pants Spa, one I could not afford without the certificate, so I decided to treat myself and use some of my birthday cash (yes, my parents still gift me cash!) and my certificate and head to the Spa as a birthday present to me! All in all it was a great day! I got a fab pedi and a magnificent facial.  But there were a couple of things that I have to address:

1.  The Robes! 

I came in and was greeted warmly and shown all the facilities, hot tub, sauna, terrace where I could dine and lounge etc.  Then I was given a robe and told to change into the robe and head to the “resting area” that looked like a beautiful roman bathing area.  Problem. They gave me a size LARGE robe, which I guess for most they would consider a one size fits all.  But, um. Not me People! Did they not look at my large ass? LOL So , embarrassed and slightly pissed I put my clothes back on and had to locate someone who could help me. “Can I get a larger size please?” I whispered as I sheepishly raised the robe towards the women. “Of course” she said, as she looked at me.  I could not figure out what her look expressed then, and I still can’t.  I, of course, thought the worst. She probably thinks I am a fat ass that doesn’t belong.  But maybe not. Who knows, all I know is I’ll put that on my bucket list for something to look forward to after surgery. Fitting into things that are meant as a one size fits all.

2. The hot tub/pool

Calling the hot tub they had a hot tub would be an understatement, it was more like a very heated beautiful tropical pool.  I brought my swimsuit like they indicated on the phone, then I chickened out.  I saw all the tan and toned bodies and I just chickened out.  Also, many people had friends with them or they were couples. I was alone, which I usually don’t care about, I mean I did eat by myself on the beautiful terrace with all the other couples, but putting myself in the vulnerable position of being in a bathing suit alone, I could not do.  I was immediately disappointed as I drove away from the Spa not having taking advantage of the great hot tub.  I hate that my weight has to play any role in my life. I cannot wait till I am comfortable enough in my own skin to not care what others think.

Maybe next year on my birthday I’ll take my birthday cash and head back, and see if I fit into the robes, and confidently sink into the hot tub!



My big fat Italian Family

So, of course if you are reading this you want to know a bit about me.  How far back do I go, to the womb? Introductions are so difficult, aren’t they?  Well, let’s start with my family.

I grew up in a very loving and supportive Italian family.  My mom is overweight and suffers from diabetes. My dad is average build. Many of my family members are overweight. Food is the center of all our family gatherings.  Is there a celebration? Food will be there! Lots of it. Did someone die? Food will be there.  Break-up, Divorce? Food is there.  From Bon-Voyage Parties to Births, most definitely Food will be there.

Now, I cannot blame my obesity on my family, sure genetics plays a part, and the way you were brought up plays a role, but dammit I had choices. And I made the wrong ones.